Streko’s Survival guide to NYC during SMX.

October 3rd, 2008, 9:29 am Michael bullshit, shotout, social networking, shutup

So listen up people. You got your plane tickets, your hotel reservations & you are already planning to meet up with all the other cool SEO people and stroke each others egos, well get ready cause i am going to help all you outta towners make sure your ass stays safe while in NYC.

If you’re all like “blah blah blah, I have been to NYC many times - I don’t need this guide!” - then fine, don’t read this guide and see what might happen. If you’re already a city dweller then use this guide to brush up on some of your knowledge.

I already have shown you how to be at the SMX while not being at the SMX. This time I am going to give you 5 simple tips for not getting into any physical danger while you roam the streets of NYC during the conference.

5 Quick Tips
1) You see a crazy person walking down the street, now I am not talking some chick who just randomly trashes people on her blog, im talking an actual crazy person. Like trying to bite his or her own ear, wearing no shoes & smelling like a trash can. Don’t stop and ask this person for directions, don’t try to get them as a client, don’t stare, don’t try and take a picture. Just keep on walking! If they try to engage you in conversation - walk faster!

2) While walking around times square & seeing the marquees and other crazy ass crap posted on buildings you will come to the Yahoo board. Sure, you’re a search geek - so its cool to get your picture taken with the big Yahoo! sign behind your head. But don’t stop in the middle of the sidewalk to take this damn picture. There are people walking behind you & your ass will get clotheslined. That shit pisses me off & I know it pisses everyone else off. Simply move to one side of the sidewalk if you need this picture to validate your search geekness.

3) You see someone getting robbed, beaten or stabbed. Don’t stop, pull out your cellphone and decide to twitter what is going on. The person doing the robbing, beating or stabbing might think you are trying to call the cops & decide to rob, beat or stab you!

4) This one is for the fella’z - So you’re in the club, a little drunk & you see 3 females all staring at you across the way. So you decide to go and talk to one, which one would you choose?

If you picked #2 - YOU FAIL. This is NYC! Shits crazy here! Now granted #2 might be the best looking outta this selection, but he is packing something & its not only an ass kicking in the SERPs!

5) The most important tip is this. All in all, inside the conference or out to a buisness dinner - yes you are the man/woman. But when push comes to shove, you’re an SEO/SEM & NYC really doesn’t give a shit. So walk around like you are the shiznit inside the center but put it back in your pocket when you go out into the street. Also take your name tag badge off when you leave the center - that shit is like a homing beacon that says “I’m not from NYC”.

I look forward to meeting you all here in NYC, if you run into any issues or have some last minute questions feel free to ask. I will give you the best advice possible.

..send this around..